Freedom
by Marifw
Summary: It's been five years since the downfall of the Dark Lord and Harry disappeared. Severus is trying to find him, why? Mentions of slash SS/HP and mpreg.


This is my first Harry Potter-fic, and it's been on my computer for more than half a year. For some reason I just haven't been able to finish it until today. But here it is. I'm not sure I'm totally happy with the ending, but I hope you like it! It's not been beta'd so all mistakes are mine, if you find any let me know and I'll try to fix it as soon as I can.

This story is set five years after the death of Voldemort, and totally disregards the epilogue!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters from that universe. They all belong to J.R Rowling, and I just like to say thank you for letting me play with them!

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_Free_

Severus Snape had never been free in his entire life. For the first eleven years he'd been living with an abusive father and an invisible mother. Then he had moved to Hogwarts where he was always tormented by those blasted Marauders. And then, in an act of youth stupidity he'd taken the dark mark and later turned spy for the light side, damning himself to teach potions to stupid, ignorant brats who never saw the beauty of a simmering cauldron.

So Severus Snape had never known freedom. That is until five years ago, when Harry Potter had killed the Dark Lord without actually killing him (I mean, you can't kill anyone with a damn disarming spell, now can you?), and then later testified in Snapes trial, showing the Wizengamot how the potion master had spied against the Dark Lord and how the death of Dumbledore was a deal between the two wizards.

In other ways; for the past four years and nine months, Severus Snape had indeed been free. Finally free to go wherever he wanted, live wherever he wanted and do whatever he wanted. Even so, Severus Snape was not a happy man. You may argue that the black haired man had never been known for his happiness, which of course is true, but Snape had known happiness.

For three months, the potion master had been truly happy. Those months, from the downfall of the Dark Lord until the end of his trial, Snape had lived in a safe house together with Harry Potter, seeing as both of them was on the top of the remaining Death Eaters hit list. During those months the two wizards had grown close. Finally learning to respect and like each other. In the last month, their relationship had turned into a sexual one, with more love and care than Severus had ever experienced before. The relationship had ended when Snape, in a cruel act worthy of a Dark Lord, had told Harry he'd just used him for his own sexual pleasure, and that he never wanted to see the younger wizard again now that he was finally free. Snape had then left the safe house, bought himself a small cottage in the middle of nowhere, where he brew potions for sale and had a huge garden with plants and herbs. Harry Potter had disappeared that day, and not even his friends knew where he'd gone.

The reason why Severus Snape was not happy with his newfound freedom should be clear now, even to the more dim-witted reader. The minute Snape apparated away from the safe house he regretted his decision, but when he came back it was already too late – Harry was gone. So for the last four years and nine months, Severus had searched for the young man, never getting any closer to finding him. He'd almost given up tons of times, but he knew that he needed to find Harry, to tell him he regretted saying those things, that he'd never meant any of it, to apologize and to tell him that he loved him. Severus Snape knew that he would never be truly free until he'd found Harry Potter.

-----

At the time our story really begins, Severus Snape was walking along the main street of the capital of Norway towards the castle. He was in the country to attend the bi-annual potions conference which would start the next day. It was in the beginning of July and the weather was too warm and sunny for his liking, but he was outside looking for a bookstore.

Before travelling to Oslo, Snape had spent a couple of days with an old friend, the potion teacher at Trolltun, the Norwegian school for witchcraft and wizardry, professor Gran. Gran was world-known for his morning sickness-potion, which was preferred by both pregnant witches and wizards. The Norwegian potion master had told Severus about this new bookstore in Oslo that specialised in defence and potion books. The owner had invented a spell that made all the books magically translate itself into the preferred language of the reader. So now Severus Snape was walking the streets trying to find this shop.

He finally found it crammed in between two mainstream clothes-shops. On the door were the letters SAES and the Norwegian word for bookstore. Severus knew he was at the right place as he could feel the magic emanating from the inside. He opened the door and was immediately awed by the sight that greeted him.

The shop was evidently under an enlargement spell as the inside was much bigger than the outside. On the right side there was a counter where a woman was currently buying something that looked like a cook book. Severus could see that the front of the shop had the more common books but a small gate between the shelves pointed the potion master in the direction of the specialized parts of the store.

Snape swiftly walked through a room filled with defence books, and soon found himself in potion heaven. The back of the shop was filled with various potion books, a lot of who Severus had read before, but he found some that were unknown to him. As he picked books from the shelf to look at closer he could hear a voice speaking rapidly in Norwegian emanating from a room at the left side. This was probably the office and Snape found himself walking closer, there was something familiar about that voice.

As he stopped right outside the office he heard a small giggle coming from near his knees. The ex-teacher looked down and locked eyes with a small girl, about four years old, with long black hair and very dark brown eyes. Snape couldn't stop himself from staring at this little witch who just kept looking back at him with curious eyes. The voice from the inside suddenly stopped talking and the little girl turned around and answered an obvious question.

Seconds later, feet came into Snape's view and his eyes quickly went up to take in the grown man standing before him. What he saw made his eyes widen, and his jaw opened in shock. The other man was looking equally shocked back at him, until his eyes changed to confusion, then hurt and finally anger. Severus couldn't stop looking into the green eyes of the man he'd been looking for for more than four and a half years now.

He'd finally found him, he'd found Harry. His brain was still a little dazed, but something suddenly clicked and his eyes shot back to the girl. His eyes darted between the two in front of him for a while until they settled back on Harry. He had a hard time making his mouth function, but managed to croak out some words in the end.

"Is she… mine?" The last word was more of a whisper, but he could see that Harry had heard it.

"Yes."

The word was simple, and yet meant more to Severus than any other he'd ever heard. He, the former Death Eater and greasy git, had a daughter. And not just any daughter, a beautiful little girl who looked like a perfect blend between him and Harry. His eyes softened as he looked at her again, this time seeing his own eyes looking back. When he looked back at Harry his expression softened even more.

"Can we talk? I need to talk to you. Please."

Even though Harry was shocked he had anticipated this meeting as he knew he couldn't hide forever. He noted the pleading look in his old teacher's eyes and nodded once.

"Yes. We live in the flat upstairs from here. It's the second next door outside on the street. Just ring the bell and I'll let you in. Sara goes to bed at seven, so you can come at eight." Harry could see Snape about to protest and quickly intervened. "You will get to meet her, but not this first time. First we will talk."

Severus saw the intelligence in this and quickly accepted. He thanked Harry and said good bye before walking back to his hotel room to collect himself.

-----

When Severus cast the Tempus charm it showed 7.05. It had only gone ten minutes since he last checked and he couldn't believe how slow the time was going. He'd gotten to his room four hours before, and in that time he'd paced the room a hundred times, tried to get some rest with no satisfactory result, and tried to read a few books, but none of them had managed to hold his focus. All he could think about was meeting Harry in less than one hour, all the things he wanted to say to him and all the things he hoped Harry would say in return.

He'd tried to prepare himself for the rejection that he was sure would come, but he couldn't quell that small hope that lingered in his heart, praying that Harry would forgive him, and that they could be together again. He knew of course that he deserved to be rejected, that he deserved everything Harry would throw at him, but he hoped that his explanation would make sense to the younger man.

Severus knew he didn't deserve anything from Harry, but he was still a little bit angry with the other man for not telling him about his daughter. In his mind he knew why, but his heart told a different story, a story where he could have been there for her birth, for her first step and first word. He had missed out on so much, and vowed to himself as well as her, that he wouldn't miss any more.

Finally the clock showed a quarter to eight, and Severus couldn't wait any longer. He pulled a black leather jacket on and swiftly left the hotel.

-----

Ten minutes later he stood in front of the door and looked at the names beside the doorbells. There was no Potter there, but there was an Evans, so he hoped he did the right thing when he pushed the button. As Harry's voice sounded over the intercom, he knew he had. Harry told him to walk to the first floor, and it was the door on the left side.

Severus almost ran up the stairs after the door opened, eager to see and talk to Harry again. On the first floor the door on the left was slightly ajar, but he still knocked before he entered.

He came into a small hall where he hang up his jacket and placed his shoes on the shoe stand. He could hear noises further inside the flat and walked forward until he came into a nice living room with a blazing fire. He could see evidence of a child living there all over the place, from the drawings on the wall to pictures and toys. He picked up a wonderful picture on the mantelpiece, with a laughing Harry and Sara in it. He turned around when he heard someone behind him and saw Harry walking towards him, two cups of steaming tea in his hands. He pointed to the picture before asking the question he'd been wondering since the last time he saw Harry.

"What's her full name?"

Harry looked at the picture with a smile on his face.

"Her name is Sara Alicia Evans Snape. Please sit down Severus. I hope tea is okay, I don't have any stronger liquor here."

Severus sat down on the couch and accepted the tea.

"Tea works fine Harry. And thanks for giving her my name, it really means a lot to me."

For a few minutes the silence between them was awkward as they sat opposite each other. In the end Snape couldn't take it any more, and decided to get everything off his chest. He put down the cup and turned towards the younger man.

"Harry. I just want to start with saying I'm sorry. I'm sorry for leaving, I'm sorry for saying those things to you, and I'm sorry for not finding you sooner. I didn't mean any of those terrible things I said, I was just stupid and a bit scared I think. Stupid because I thought that being free meant being alone, and scared because I was sure you would see what I was as soon as we got out of that safe house, and leave me. I also want you to know that I saw my mistake and returned only ten minutes after I left, but you were already gone. I've been looking for you since then, so that I could tell you this, and also tell you what I should have said almost five years ago. Those three months with you were the best days I've had, and I love you."

Severus stopped after this, but he didn't dare to look at Harry, scared to see the hate and rejection he anticipated. He didn't look up until he felt movement beside him and saw a warm hand squeeze his own. Harry had moved to sit beside him, and it wasn't hate he saw in his eyes, it wasn't love either, but something more like sadness.

"Thank you for telling me this Severus. I've always wondered what happened to make you so cruel to me. When you left I was broken. I didn't feel like I had anything making me stay in England any more, so I decided to leave. I had no idea where I would end up, I just turned on the spot and apparated away as far as I could go. That's how I ended up here. Well actually way up in the forest.

I found my way downtown and soon after met people of our kind. They directed me to the Norwegian equivalent of Diagon Alley, where a branch of Gringotts was happy to help me. I changed my name to Harry Evans and bought this apartment. Over the next two years I finished my NEWT's, took some courses in healing and management and about four months after I came to Norway I found out I was pregnant.

I think it must have happened on that last night we slept together, and I was both happy and sad at the same time. Happy because I've always wanted a family, and sad because you weren't there. Sara was born on May 28th, a week early. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about her, but I didn't think you would want anything to do with me, or her.

Three years ago I bought the bookstore, as the owner wanted to retire and didn't have any relatives that wanted to take over. I changed it a bit and decided to specialise in defence and potions. I think in a way I wanted you to find me, and this seemed like a good way to accomplish that."

They both fell silent after Harry was done talking. Both contemplating what had been said, and what to say next. Harry was the first to talk.

"I'm not moving back. I like it here. I like being anonymous, and being allowed to walk the streets without having to answer questions. They've heard about the war, but they don't know me."

Severus nodded as Harry talked.

"I figured you would like it here. I'm okay with that. I really want to get to know my daughter though, so I guess I'll be moving over here."

Harry's head jerked up at this.

"Really?"

"Yes. I can do my work from everywhere in the world, I'm not picky. I can't live in the middle of the city though as that could get dangerous, and also it's a bit hard to grow things here. I'll see if I can find a small place on the outskirts, preferably without too many neighbours."

Severus turned fully towards Harry and took his hand, locking their eyes together.

"I'm not just moving for Sara you know. I'm also moving for you. I meant what I said earlier. I love you, and I want us to be together. I understand that you don't trust me, but please let me show you how much you really mean to me, will you let me court you?"

Harry looked back at the potion master with a sad smile on his lips.

"I still care about you Severus, but you're right, I don't trust you right now. If you want this to happen, you gotta work for it. I will not come as easily as last time. I'm older now, and hopefully a bit wiser."

Severus smiled back at the other wizard, a tiny bit of hope lightning in his heart. Maybe this could work out.

-----

Over the next three weeks Severus made all the arrangements needed for moving to Norway. As requested by Harry he didn't tell anyone that he had found the Saviour of the Wizarding World. He just sold his house, harvested the plants that could be harvested, and carefully packed the rest in big crates designed to move herbs and plants. He wrote to all his customers informing them of the move, and reassuring them at the same time that this did not mean they had lost their potion master. He was still taking orders, but it could take a little while before he was up to speed again.

He found himself a nice house outside of Oslo, with no neighbours for miles, and a big garden. He had three bedrooms, up to date plumbing and a Jacuzzi. Sara was brought over to decorate her own room, and both her and Harry was there for dinner as a house warming party.

His relationship with Sara was rapidly growing strong. Sara loved having her other father around, and Severus loved just being with her. Before he left after the conference he had given her a My First Potion Kit as a late birthday present. Sara loved it, and even more she loved brewing with her Papa.

His relationship with Harry was going slower, but at least it was going forward. He took Harry out on dates every week. Sometimes it would be a big thing like going to the opera, or see a movie. Sometimes it would be small like a picnic or just a walk along the pier. It took four months before Severus got to kiss him good night. Another two months before that kiss turned deeper. Three months after this they had their first over night date, with Sara sleeping to a friend, and the first time they slept in the same bed since they were in England.

Every day Severus would tell Harry he loved him, and show him. One year after that meeting in the bookstore Harry told him he loved him back. They made love that night, and Harry held Severus afterwards as the older man cried.

Two weeks later Harry and Sara moved in with Severus.

For the first time in his life Severus finally felt complete, happy and free.

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So that's it. I hope you liked it, and maybe I'll be back soon with a new story.


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